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Internationale Gedichte Sämtliche nicht-deutschsprachige Gedichte. |
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#1 |
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spoken words
are bleeding lying naked in front of you trying to take a last breath silently trembling before they die |
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#2 |
Hi moon,
I`ll answere in english so I won`t ge confused between both languages. The way you write in english really takes my breath away ![]() For me the wohle Poem reads like a farewell, those last words someone speaks to a loved person before the silence takes hold. It`s a violent silence indeed, I just have to imagine lovers that break up and at the end there is nothing more to say. Even silence can then ring in ones ears and sound violent. But I do have something to crit. upon ![]() I would have written it like this. It`s just the form, so don`t worry it`s nothing drastic ![]() violent silence spoken words are bleeding lying naked in front of you trying to take a last breath silently trembling before they die I think it reads better this way because I somehow stumbled while reading over it the way you wrote und it seemed a bit ripped apart. Very nice moon! I liked it ![]() Greetings, Isabel |
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#3 |
Forumsleitung
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Just one word: GOOD!
LG, Ilka-M. |
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#4 |
Hi Isa!
Thank you for your words! Honestly, to hear that from a native speaker is the best compliment. It´s not that simple to find the right words in a different language, even in your native tongue. Your association of a farewell scene truly is one way to take it. Concerning the form you´re absolutely right. It supposed to be a 4-term poem, but by the reason of something irrational in my brain I changed it. Don´t know why, really. But I´d propose for those, who don´t like the form, to read your version. That´s the easiest way, isn´t it. Thanks again for reading this short one! Hi Ilka-Maria! Thanks to you as well. Sometimes one word can say so much. ![]() cheers moon |
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Lesezeichen für violent silence |
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