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Internationale Gedichte Sämtliche nicht-deutschsprachige Gedichte. |
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23.11.2021, 21:47 | #1 |
I'M SORRY
And I can't make you stay
in this broken place. I can't feel it can't see It Need you to believe it I wasn't the one you needed Cause now I know relationships are my enemy You better stay away from me That will never be a part of me Cause if its love you want to get from me don't waste your time but for an undefined time I can make you feel most alive But always remember I'll never be your wife Cause my kind of love can hurt you like a kitchenknife I don't want to hurt you I know what you will go threw But I'll never feel it too -I'm sorry Boo |
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24.11.2021, 04:42 | #2 |
Dabei seit: 07/2006
Ort: Mauritius, stella clavisque maris indici
Beiträge: 4.889
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I don't like the part with the kitchen knife. Good, it rhymes. But "like a kitchen knife"?
A dagger would have been more appropriate. Otherwise, I found the text comprehensible and interesting. C.Alvarez |
24.11.2021, 12:23 | #3 |
Good point!
While I was writing I thought of a pain like a stab: simple, sharp, uneven. Thank you for your contribution! |
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