|
|
Gefühlte Momente und Emotionen Gedichte über Stimmungen und was euch innerlich bewegt. |
|
Themen-Optionen | Thema durchsuchen |
09.02.2015, 18:52 | #1 |
The monster inside of her
When she looks in the mirror a monster looks back at her.
The monster which grows every day. With the cuts on her wrists she feeds it. Nobody saw her die inside of her own body. With this bright smile of her,who would even thing of something like that?. Why should somebody see it?After all nobody knew her true self. And she knows that nobody will ever she her true self,then before this should happen she will get detroid from the monster inside of her. „Can't somebody come and safe me!?“she askes this question herself every day with hope for someone,who will never come.Then the person which she is hoping for does just exist in the world of hers.The reality is cold and full with fear,no place for a child like she used to be. So she had to find a way to live,giving up herself was the only one she could find. So she did and then she became the monster inside. The monster she became,is searching after pain and fear.It's the only way to exist for it. If it ever gets hungry ,it starts to get control over her body and makes her hurt the people who are the most important persons in her life. But it doesn't care about her feelings,nobody does. She isn't even fighting it back like years ago,she knows if it isn't here anymore there is no way for her to live.The reality would destroy her just in seconds,with the monster inside ,she hasn't to feel the saddness in her soul.The saddness from which she is hiding from,which she fears the most.Because this saddness dranged her to get the monster by her side. Who would think,that in such a girl might, be a monster which,when it's grown up will kill everyone near her?She doesn't know it even,so why sould anybody in thsi world know? Would it change any thing about her situiation?No... it wouldn't. Maybe it's even better for her to keep quiet. She has to leave it like it is,she is to scared from the reality. Time is getting over and the monster is getting bigger. Will she be safed?Who would safe her? |
|
09.02.2015, 20:58 | #2 | |
Forumsleitung
|
Warum, Darklittleangel, hast Du den Text nicht in Deutsch geschrieben, wenn Du im Englischen nicht sicher bist? Weshalb ist der Engel in Deinem Namen falsch geschrieben (angle statt angel)?
Die Grammatik lasse ich mal beiseite (u.a. geht es mit den Zeiten wild durcheinander) und picke nur ein paar Sachen als Beispiele heraus, die vom Vokabular falsch sind: Zitat:
"detroid" ???? "... for a child like she used to be" scheint mir ein doppelter Vergleich zu sein, "like" ist entbehrlich: for the child she used to be. "searching" ist für mein Empfinden der falsche Ausdruck, gemeint ist wohl eher etwas im Sinne von "seek" oder "attack". "dranged" gibt es nicht, offensichtlich ist "urged" oder "forced" gemeint. "safe" wird mit "save verwechselt, allenfalls könnte man sagen: Who will come to her safety? Der Text ist stark bearbeitungswürdig. VG Ilka |
|
09.02.2015, 21:40 | #3 |
abgemeldet
|
vaschieb das kleine finsterangelina. es gehört unter fremdsprachige.
|
Lesezeichen für The monster inside of her |
Stichworte |
depression, hass, versteckt |
Themen-Optionen | Thema durchsuchen |
|
Ähnliche Themen | ||||
Thema | Autor | Forum | Antworten | Letzter Beitrag |
The fight inside | welcometohell | Internationale Gedichte | 4 | 08.12.2013 14:47 |
The you inside me | Hassi | Internationale Gedichte | 0 | 25.07.2005 10:57 |
Das Monster | Anonyma5 | Gefühlte Momente und Emotionen | 3 | 19.06.2005 20:18 |