My fatehr's home/ My far home

[Poor Paddy]

There is a land I’ve never been
But I’ll always call it home
I could never leaf this Land
Where ever I might roam

This land it is deep in my heart
Surrounded by the sea
A land of peace, a land of freedom
A land of liberty

It is my father’s native land
And it fills my heart with pride
To say I am a Son of it
This land so rude and wild

I never could imagine
Such a lovely scene
It’s sea so ruff, It’s valley’s green
The island of Erin

This land has cried so many tears
We never will forget
What our freedom means to us
And we aren’t all free jet

Also I will not see this land
United all peacefully
My heart it knows, my mind is sure
That one day it will be

I loved this land since I was born
I always called it home
And also when I’ll never see it
It's in my mind
where ever I might roam

Das ist das erste Gedicht, das ich geschrieben habe, man merkt vielleicht daran, dass ich Ire bin, aber noch nie in Irland war.
Undjetzt dürfen alle denen danach ist, dass ganze formgerecht aus einander pflücken

Liebe Grüße
Patrick

[Ilka-Maria]

Willkommen Paddy,

vom Inhalt her schön zu lesen, ich spüre die Leidenschaft. Aber wie Du schon vermutet hast, sind in Sachen Rechtschreibung und Grammatik einige "Hämmer" drin. Ich komme nochmal darauf zurück - aber nicht heute.

Aber im Grundsatz eine schöne Liebeserklärung an das Land Deiner Träume.

LG
Ilka-M.

[movfaltin]

Hej,

Just made some major and minor prima-facie corrections. And I personalised Eire ("she" sounds a bit better if you love this amazing country).
The metric scheme is good (i.e., the intention shimmering through), but the metre's not always been met. Neither have the rhymes.

What are you waiting for? Rove her plain green meadows!

Cheers,
Mov

There is a land I’ve never been to
But I’ll always call her home
I could never leave this land
Wherever I might roam

This land is deep in my heart
Surrounded by the sea
A land of peace, a land of freedom
A land of liberty

She is my father’s native land
And it fills my heart with pride
To say I am a Son of her
'f this land so rude and wild

I never could imagine
Such a lovely scene
Her sea so rough, it’s valleys green
The island na hEireann

This land has cried so many tears
We never will forget
What our freedom means to us
And we aren’t all free yet

Also I will not see this land
United all in peace
My heart it knows, my mind is sure
That one day she will be

I've loved this land since I was born (eigtl.: been loving)
I've always called it home
And also if I'll never see it
It's in my mind
wherever I might roam