philistines

[moon]

The light of day
saved in mind,
canned flavours
down my throat.

We used to explode.

I can see me in the cherries
from old times,
to jam like marmalade
is to drop bombs
with painted ammunition,
when shadows appear
at night.

[IsabelG]

Hi moon,

I know I`ve said it quite often but this ist by far the best english text I have read from you, this can only mean you are getting better and better and better and even better when I think -oh gosh, this is the best

I like how you began the poem, staying short and simple, I almost overread the "canned flavours" but only because my attention is a little wrecked
In the line that goes into the second stanza you really literally explode on paper, the canned flavours and the throat, works through and everything seems to make sense. Where memories really do seem like cherrybombs...a very intense reading expierience I can say.
Thanks for that one!

Greetings,
Isabel

[moon]

Dear Isa,

wow, wasn't expecting such a lovely comment. Thank you so much! It amazed me that you came up with the cherrybombs, these words were intended to belong together. I always try to get better and better, that's the sense of all that forum-shit, isn't it? And I need to say, especially concerning my english texts, that you are an important factor for me to go on writing more english stuff. Thanks for that, Isa. (Until the triangle stops influencing, which means: NEVER!)

moon