Always there

[strubbel]

Nothing I see is true
Just a hologram of you
Shadows stalking me by night
Against old ghosts I always fight

In my dreams you`re always there
I wish I never ever care
About your brown eyes and your smile
I like to remember once in a while

What happend days and weeks before
Without beeing ashamed of me any more

[Ex Pedroburla]

I'm impressed - you're really only 30 years old?

[strubbel]

Sarcasm?

[Ex Pedroburla]

Zitat von strubbel

Sarcasm?

No - I'm really impressed! At your age I made me not worry so much, mostly only lived in the here and now, was still "hippie". About life itself, I reflected only when my mother died - and then wrote a novel in which I tell about my journey through life, and he is called "Imagine - ...", was inspired by John Lennon and Bob Dylan ...

Greetings! Pedro

[strubbel]

Thanks a lot!

Hab hier schon einige weniger nette Kommentare erhalten, deshalb bin ich inzwischen vorsichtig :-)

LG strubbel

[Thing]

Zitat von strubbel

Hab hier schon einige weniger nette Kommentare erhalten, deshalb bin ich inzwischen vorsichtig :-)

l

Ich hab ein wenig gestöbert.
Gottseidank brauche ich kein schlechtes Gewissen zu haben.


LG
Thing

[Ex Pedroburla]

Zitat von strubbel

Thanks a lot!

Hab hier schon einige weniger nette Kommentare erhalten, deshalb bin ich inzwischen vorsichtig :-)

LG strubbel

Don't think twice about the stupidity of other people - it's only important to think about the own mistakes and errors ...


Warm greetings! Pedro


Video Bob Dylan "Don't think twice" > http://vimeo.com/39267368 <

[Alfonsea]

Here some minor advices that came through my mind..

Zitat von strubbel

Nothing I see is true
Just a hologram of you
Shadows stalking me by night
Against old ghosts I always fight

In my dreams you`re always there
I wish I never ever care
About your brown eyes and your smile
I like to remember once in a while

What happend days and weeks before
Without beeing ashamed of me any more

i think 'old ghosts' isn't quite the expression for what you were trying to tell
I'd rather suggest ghosts of the past

Since the person of interest within the poem is gone already you might want to put the line 'I wish i never ever care' in a past tense like: I wish I never ever (really) cared

Beyond that your poem is pretty well written,
greetings