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Internationale Gedichte Sämtliche nicht-deutschsprachige Gedichte. |
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06.05.2015, 10:18 | #1 |
Birth
You know that process
everybody is talking about almost every day and they're like Babies are sooo cute! Am, you know, actually they aren't. Babies are not cute the second they come out a womans stretched female parts. Babies are freakin' ugly when they come out. Slimy, moist (i hate that word), screaming and just Yuck! Dear Babies, no hate, cause i went through the same thing, but i needed to say that (although i know i stole the right to say that since i'm not a parent yet and i "don't have a clue what magic comes to life when babies are born bla bla".. come on, please!) |
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09.05.2015, 02:17 | #2 |
Dabei seit: 11/2005
Ort: Nördliche Hemisphäre
Alter: 55
Beiträge: 438
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Hey Aaron Joecalles !
Life itself is a slimy object. 90 % of human bodies consist of liquids. We just do not see too much of it. On occasion of a birth, we only see a portion of it. I am afraid that I cannot see your text as a poem, as I cannot find any poetic structure. Thanks although for letting us know your thoughts on that matter. Best wishes, Sylvester |
09.05.2015, 14:32 | #3 |
Please define "poetic structure" for me, i don't get what especially you try to criticize about my poem.
The more specific you ask the question the more specific the answer will be. |
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09.05.2015, 21:24 | #4 | |
Dabei seit: 11/2005
Ort: Nördliche Hemisphäre
Alter: 55
Beiträge: 438
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For a definition of poetry, I would like to quote Wikipedia:
Zitat:
In my opinion, your text tells the story without using any of the above mentioned elements. Of course, this is just my own opinion, and other readers may see it differently. |
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10.05.2015, 20:27 | #5 |
One of my favorite poets (Charles Bukowski) has published dozens of books full of poems and not in a single one he uses anything close to something like a rhyme, much less rhythm.
Sorry, but pigeonholing doesn't work with poetry. |
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11.05.2015, 06:17 | #6 |
Dabei seit: 11/2005
Ort: Nördliche Hemisphäre
Alter: 55
Beiträge: 438
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I confess to not having read a single line of Charles Bukowski's poems.
Rhyme and rhythm are only two aspects that may define "a poem". I am not convinced. Let me ask you what (for you) is making your text a poem rather than a prosaic text ? |
12.05.2015, 01:53 | #7 |
i won't answer that question, cause that's way too personal for putting it online. No offense though.
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